Rukaiya

Gaslighting on an international level

 

How gaslighting works on an international level:

This war between Israel and Palestine is a good way for us to understand gaslighting and how intensive its effect can really be. Here are some signs of gaslighting that have risen up in the recent conflict: it helps to think of Israel and Palestine as husband and wife:

1. The Hamas act of terror was, let's be clear, absolutely terrible. Nothing justifies the murder of civilians. Let's say it's equal to the wife slapping the husband.

2. So now, the husband says, "well, don't i have the right to retaliate?" And proceeds to attack her brutally.

2. You, watching this, are expected to forget the years of abuse that he put her through.

3. You, as a commentator, are expected to unequivocally condemn the slap even as he locks her up without food or water, and continues to hit her in a way that you didn't think was humanly possible.

4. Every time you say anything about maybe letting her breathe, letting her eat, getting her wounds treated, he says, "how can you even say that? You saw how she slapped me. Why are you not even talking about it?" It puts you on the defensive, so you find yourself having to reiterate that her slapping him was not okay, and this happens every time you speak; even as you watch him maul her, you have to accept that the slap was still a terrible thing to do.

5. You can't look into the reason why she slapped him in the first place. You can't say, "all right, let's try to resolve the issue" you can't say, "maybe don't use a baseball bat", "maybe don't use a knife," "maybe don't use a corkscrew" because every time you do, the husband accuses you of hating him. He says, "see? You've always been unfair to me. See how easily you forgot that she slapped me. What about my feelings? Don't they matter? Why do you hate men so much?" So now you find yourself having to defend yourself. You don't hate men.

6. You want to resolve the issue. The carnage is disturbing you. You want it to end. So you talk to the wife instead, whatever's left of her. You say, "maybe you shouldn't have slapped him in the first place". You say, "look, this has been going on for years. It can't all be his fault, right?" "If you can't take responsibility for even a little bit of this, what's even the point of us trying to have an equal conversation?" You're trying to be reasonable. Aren't there always two sides to an argument?

7. It's in the news. The moderate media is now talking about the husband and wife that always fight. They're saying, "when will they both realise that peace is a better option?" The neighbours support him, "He has a right to defend himself after what happened, there's no doubt about that". "That slap was a dark moment in their history, that much is clear." "We hope whatever he does is lawful, but we do unequivocally support his right to defend himself".

8. Slowly you forget. The husband won't let you see the wife. You can't see her, all you really know about what's happening is the media going, "it looks like another day that she didn't serve him food". The neighbours say, "we'll give her a plate of food if he can open the door just for a little while, but to be fair we will also give him a chainsaw." 

9. The reality of this is slowly slipping away. You lose touch with her, even as you continuously get updated on how much his heart is hurting, and how scared he is that she might do it again, and how anybody who can't absolutely unequivocally agree that she was wrong to slap him is hateful, probably hates all men, and shouldn't be allowed to talk. You don't want to be hateful. You're very keen to convince anybody who's watching that you're not some man-hater, that you do realise the slap was a terrible thing for her to do. 

Slowly as tensions escalate between husband and wife, you forget that they're not married: he simply moved in one day, decided he liked the house and started ordering her around as if he owned her as well. 

She's still breathing, but now she's alone. Anybody who speaks up on her behalf is branded as someone who supports domestic abuse. 

She's still breathing, but hopefully not for long. Somehow in your peace-loving soul, you start to think that one way to bring peace is if she just dies and he gets the house and this conflict will finally end.

How long will they survive?

How long will they survive

With us gone?

A long time I'm sure,

But humanity won't

Because humanity isn't selective

It doesn't have sub-clauses,

Or fine print or any of the horrors

Of capitalism that you can think of

Humanity is either all or nothing

It can't be all except...

Because then it's nothing

You don't kill us

You kill a part of yourself

And then, when humanity for the sake of humanity is dead 

Then who is important?

Because then nobody is, and you'll realise it yourself

Then you find someone else to unload your growing burden on

And then another

And another

And another

Until no one's left but your brother

And then no one's left but you

And if the others aren't important

Then maybe so aren't you

If you let your own humanity die

Will you believe in anyone else's?

If you let other people die,

Would you believe anybody should let you live?

I don't know if God exists

But the devil does

And the minute you give up your humanity for your greed

You've let him in,

And what's the price of a soul

That sold itself?