i'm just a random person who came out of the blue to tell everyone that she exists. why, how, really? are debatable questions. in fact, i spend a lot of my time debating these same questions with myself, so i won't even bother to try to think of an answer. ps - this blog is not about finding an answer, so if you try to find curiously funny ways of answering life's deep questions here, yeah ok. lol.
Thursday, July 16, 2026
Time To Rise
Tuesday, June 30, 2026
Broke
You can't save that much anyway...
you're a wish on a dandelion
you're wild and free
and don't belong to me
you're a wish on a dandelion
you can't save me
you never could
it's nice you thought you should
but did you forget you're human too?
you're a wish on a dandelion
you're not the answer to a prayer
you're not a desperate hope
you're not a last resort
you're nothing, you're fluff
you always were
it's fun, of course, but the reality of it
was never really real
you thought you could save me
you thought I'd save you too
you can't help me
if you can't help you
and i can't help you
i was never meant to
i was your wish too, wasn't i?
you poor delusional soul
i was to you a wish and prayer
and a dream come true
but what am i?
I'm not real for you either
all of this is built in the clouds
you know that's true
and you'll hold on to it
in the hope that somehow maybe
this will all become real
just like you want
just like you want
that this will somehow become real
the dream you dreamt will come true
something you can touch
I'm not real for you
and you're not real for me
can you let go?
i don't care anymore
I'll try to be rid of you
Thursday, March 19, 2026
Tough Love
It's tough to feel ok when you're only used to getting hurt
It's tough to feel like you should be loved
When you haven't felt it before
It's little things that pile up
And break your soul bit by bit
It's tough when you feel like you're
Putting it back together with spit
It's tough to get up and fight for someone
When you look back and see no one backing you up
But back up
Everybody deserves love
Whether they know it or not
Put your broken heart back together
With the love you give to other people
The blank space in your heart
Fill it with all the love you should have got
Love everyone to make up for not being loved
Make sure nobody feels the way you did
It's called overcompensation?
Well, overcompensate
Whoever said you should only give back what you've been given
Was wrong
You should give back what you never got
Not so that you'll somehow get it in return,
But to make sure you are worth the love you don't get.
Monday, March 2, 2026
Something, pain and grandoise epiphany
They would have us believe that there is a shining thing called "destiny" - a thing that we're meant to do - were you born to dance, or maybe cook, or is it your destiny to be a baby-sitter? But people don't fit in these grandiose boxes.
That's a lie, built to distract us.
Nobody's born to be a gymnast, or a footballer or a plumber - you might have some talents, but you choose if that's going to be the rest of your life. Because if this whole "destiny" thing is true, then you would have to believe that daily wage laborers, that, I don't know, unscrupulous businessmen, loan sharks, abusive people, or even people that hurt or kill others are destined for that life.
Then, when you see the cruelty of the world concentrate and focus on its kids, you would have to believe that they are destined for that.
Destiny is a lie.
The only truth is beauty, and family and love, and the need to understand God.
Tuesday, February 17, 2026
Maya
How do we collectively turn off our conscience?
How do we selectively mourn
How can we still believe we're compassionate
If our sympathy is bought and sold?
And our silence is precious because
Under the guise of status quo
Looking us in the eye
The murderer murders
What will we be expected to do next?
Clean up the remains?
And what if that same fate should befall us?
Would we then expect sympathy
From people who are hopefully better than us
Or do we reject it then
A price to pay
An end to make
A life to leave
Unlived.
Miracle
You're loved
That's an absolute
You're loved
In any circumstance
In any condition
You're loved
This love doesn't go away
It'll stay
It'll wait
For you to see it
For you to heal
Do you have to become worthy of it? No.
You're already worthy
Everything you do
Every time you get up again
Every time you decide you won't give up
You don't need proof of this love
You just have to know it's always there
Helping you when you think you can't go any further
Picking you up when you fall absolutely
It won't do everything, of course
This love believes in you
The miracle is you
You'll get up,
Again, and again, and again
You'll do the crawl forward
You'll do the walk forward
You'll do the run
The miracle is you.
You'll find your strength within you
And you'll realise how worthy you always were of this love
You're held, you simply have to allow yourself to feel it.
You are the miracle, you simply have to allow yourself to be it.
Monday, February 16, 2026
Blink
How can you ever have been real,
If you’re not anymore?
I’m looking at your face now.
How could it ever have existed
If it doesn’t anymore?
Are your memories just something
My mind made up,
Or were you ever someone I could talk to
But can’t anymore?
How strange to think you were once
Flesh and blood,
How - how can that dissipate?
How can a soul - how can someone you could
Touch and hug and hold and smile with
And smell and feel and hear and know - die?
How can the jokes
And the advice
And the eye-rolling
(for bad advice)
vanish?
Leaving nothing but sepia feelings…
How can you have lived and breathed
If all I know of you comes from treacherous memory
And what when I’m gone too,
Taking my memories with me?
Here lies a man who once was… real?
Saturday, February 14, 2026
Errant emotion
What errant emotion do you capture?
Where did it run away from me,
who was trying so hard to keep it down?
You grabbed my emotions by the forelock
Is the fault mine? I was hurting and unaware
When you came for me first
I was emotional and trying not to be
And you laughed and took all the emotions
I was trying to hide from the world
You took them, and you took me as well
And now when I'm trying to take hold of my emotions
Try to steer them in a way that i can manage
You, who took them and made them bigger and stronger,
And made me weaker
You don't reach out to take me back
But now i come willingly
Called by the high, chilling notes of the Pied Piper
I won't tell you to stop
You're here as well
You've hurt as well
The call came for you as well
Louder. Higher. Bone-chillingly promising
And you answered
And now you're caught
Worse than me
I won't tell you to stop
You can't
I'll continue to try.
Wednesday, February 11, 2026
Unreal Reality
What do i do with the grief that's piling up?
where do i look where i won't see blood?
what do i do with the despair, the helplessness?
how do i stop this within my own body?
how can i distance myself from something that cries blood?
how can i look away from this that
... it's not the first time humanity has failed
but we thought we were past it
it's not the first time humanity has failed
but this time it's a collective failure
it's the failure of the strong to protect the weak
the failure of those with voices to voice the voiceless
the failure to find our own better selves
this is it
this is the result of a gaslighting on a level we didn't think we would see
and me?
What do i do with the hollow in my stomach?
what do i do with the blood rising to my throat
as i watch one side of the world burning
and the other carrying on as usual
this doesn't exist
this isn't real
they aren't dying
in this strange unreal reality
if i can turn it into tears and let it flow
maybe i can save my own self
even though i still can't save you
even though i still can't save you
I'm sorry
the fault is mine
Monday, February 9, 2026
In Prospect
One day I'll tell you
How much it hurt when you looked away
One day I'll tell you
Why I kept coming back for more
One day I'll tell you
How it felt to sit right next to you
And yearn, unseen.
One day, when this all passes over
Maybe we'll sit and talk.
It'll be just the two of us,
In a place that feels safe
And I'll tell you what I went through
When I was trying to be strong for you.
I can't yet; you're not ready
But through all this pain,
And this heartbreak,
And this silence
I hope
That one day you will be
What I know you are
I saw an angel in you
One day I hope to see it again.
One day,
When the world isn't
Attacking you anymore
Turning you feral in defense,
One day,
When you find that angel within yourself
I know that day will come
I can see it in you sometimes
And you might not love me now,
But you will one day
And me? I will always love you
And one day you'll see it too
One day, when you're less lonely,
You'll see me here, who never left.
Thursday, February 5, 2026
Intrinsic Value
What is true value then?
I guess true value would be the worth of your life itself. What does your presence mean for the people around you? Are people bettered by you or worsened? What about the space that you inhabit right now? Is it better for you or worse?
Take that shameless bloody trillionaire for example. So he's worth a lot of money, but what value does his life have, intrinsically? Nearly nothing. Apparently he tried to party with the dirty island folk but even they didn't want him. Simply as a human, he fails miserably.
And speaking of the dirty island folk - what the hell? It was always known that most of our celebs and rich people are Pompeii people, and we knew some of our thinkers aren't thinking right, but this is something else. If so many of them are actually dirty perverts, no wonder this has been under wraps for so long. Our leaders are not just incompetent, but they might actually be evil, and that's just hard to digest. I mean I have seen the normal evil that they're capable of, but this is just… textbook evil. Movie evil. The kind of evil that if it wasn't literally coming from the FBI, we'd be calling it conspiracy theories. Anybody who spoke up about these things would be immediately labeled delusional. Stupid, stupid people we are, to think evil just went away, and now the real problem is your mother's BPD.
As a culture our values have changed so much. Rich friends are assets, poor friends are hopefully avoidable because they just aren't cultured enough. Parents matter for as long as we’re dependent on them, but the minute they’re dependent on us, the relationship dynamic sours terribly. Success is measured by money, not difference made.
I mean, we can't just stop everything and take sanyas, but maybe we should start measuring our lives differently.
There's so much noise, it's difficult not to get pulled away. Best brands, cheap brands, partying, neon stuff. We think like buyers. We think in terms of consumption. Money is so important - spending it, saving it, being clever about it, not having to be clever about it.
That's the reason home industries are dying out. Because the cheap stuff in the market is so tantalisingly cheap, and the expensive things are so covetable, and really who has the time or patience to really build their own stuff instead of chasing reel capability, especially when both partners are now required to work?
I won't even get into the toll this takes on women because what the hell? Why is it that every time we think we've found the solution for one of our problems just as a society it turns into another trap?
Maybe there are solutions to this. It'll usually be on the lines of spending more time with family, eating an apple a day (or something that doesn't break the bank), but that's the thing. Everything is complicated. Understanding the need for this is different, making the right decisions is so much harder to do these days.
But yeah, it would help to think of yourself as a person having intrinsic value instead of chasing fiscal value. Then you can know what it is you really want, and chase a life of peace and build relationships, and maybe build stuff. Maybe then we can go back to real joy, instead of chasing empty pleasure. Maybe instead of numbing to drown out the noise, we can embrace ourselves wholly and allow for some compassion. All of these are words, and in an active life, it's hard to come to terms with this as possibility.
But maybe understanding the need for it, and finding a way to step back is our first step forward.
Wednesday, February 4, 2026
Echo
History had a way of keeping us quiet. History had a way of keeping us in awe. We learnt about British conquests, and the fight for freedom, we learnt about the Spaniards and the things they did, and we learned about the suffragettes, and we said, “no more”. This age is different from the last one. Things that happened before won’t happen now. History is history.
We thought we were beyond that. We scoffed at the people of history, even as we learned about those that rose above. We thought we were better than them. This is the age of civilisation, we’re beyond the Dark Ages now. In this age, we won’t see concentration camps, ethnic cleansing, and World War type of destruction.
This is the age of enlightenment, we have science and technology. We can see right to the beginning of the universe now, we’re coming close to cars that self-repair, we have kpop, we’re here in the bright, bright future of the Jetsons. We’re here in the age that all the people in the past dreamt of. This is the age of enlightenment; we won’t see people get dark behind the eyes.
But now, slowly, as our eyes hollow, we’ve been seeing, we’ve been shown, and all of our happy ignorance is gone. Hiroshima holds no horror for us anymore. The Bengal famine, terrible as it was, has lost its ability to move us. The Native American genocide, the - I don’t know - Vlad the Impaler? Hitler.
None of it has the same effect it once had. We’ve seen worse. Somehow, the words of history are getting erased by fresh blood. Nothing has the ability to shock us anymore.
I used to wonder what role I would play in our freedom struggle. I think at some point we’ve all wondered the same thing. Well, here’s the answer. We watch TV. We get back massages and foot reflexology. We meet our friends for lunch, and make plans to see movies. Now that we’re living in times that require heroes, we’re slowly starting to realise what being a hero costs, we’re slowly starting to realise that in the history books, we’re the crowd.
But that’s the thing. We don’t all have to be Mahatma Gandhi. We don’t have to give speeches like Martin Luther King. As history starts to repeat itself, we also start to realise - history wasn’t entirely built by the heroes - history was built by the crowd. By the people who walked with Mahatma Gandhi, by the unknown faces at the Jallainwala Bagh, by the audience who sat and listened to Sojourner speak her Truth.
It was us the crowd that won the war.
So yeah, maybe we’re not the ones who get a page of the textbook, but those of us who stick with the truth, even in the quiet of our own hearts, we’re the ones that cause the subtle shift that ends up turning the world right again.
We might not be the ones who talk loud, but the ones whose voices, in the end, have the loudest echo.
Friday, January 30, 2026
The Wicked Witch
Once upon a time, there was a wicked witch. She killed animals in the jungle, and used their fat to make potions that she sold in the village. The poor unsuspecting women didn’t know what went into these wonderful potions that the witch made, all they knew was that these potions worked like magic, so they bought them in droves and encouraged their friends to buy them too.
The witch became rich because of these potions. She moved into the main village and used her money to bribe the village elders, so that they would turn a blind eye to the ruckus she was causing in the jungle.
The village got their water from the jungle river, but the river was starting to get filled up with the dead bodies of the animals. They complained to the village elders, but since they had joined the witch they simply advised the villagers to boil the water before drinking, and chided them for letting their kids play near the river, saying it was the children throwing rocks in the river that was the problem.
When the children complained about the dead animals, they were told not to play there, that the animals were killing each other, that the animals were the problem.
Still nobody knew that it was the wicked witch, who pretended to be a good, wise person, helping people out. She even went so far as to bring water in from another village, and sell it in bottles to the people who could afford it.
When the poor asked “What about us?” They were told to continue to use the boiled water from the polluted river, and how that would be useful in improving their immunity, and not be lazy and ask for handouts.
The houses in the village were starting to smell, because of the water they were using. Diseases were spreading, because even the jungle had started to stink.
Still the potions sold, still the witch made money. She now could get fancy materials from far away lands to stitch her clothes out of, she bought gemstones to adorn her clothes, and many ornaments. She grew fat on good food. Everybody wanted to work in the witch’s house because she gave free water to the people who worked for her.
Everyone spoke about how wonderful she was because she opened a school for the village kids, where they were taught how to work in her factory. Other factories were opened to manufacture benches and chairs out of wood from the jungle, and coats made of animal fur, although everybody was assured that the fur was taken from animals that were already dead.
Friends of the witch were well–favored and taken care of. The noble classes of people fought with each other to garner favour from her, and vilified the people who complained. Anybody who spoke against the witch would be hung from a tree in the very jungle that people now tried to avoid going into, that now nobody talked about.
The real problem was forgotten. The witch became an important part of the economy of the village. The real problem became the sick people, because they were pulling the village down. The real problem became the old people who couldn’t work anymore. The real problem became that people weren’t productive enough, that they didn’t want to work, that they didn’t care enough about the growth of the village and only thought about themselves.
One day, a stranger from a far away village came to visit. He commented on the smell. People said, “What smell?”
He wondered why the kids looked so small and weak, people said, “What are you talking about? These are the healthiest kids in the world.”
He wondered why there were so many people who didn’t have houses, people said, “They’re too lazy or sick or old to work, that’s just natural selection.”
He wondered why nobody cared anymore. They got angry. They said, “Of course we care. We care for our village. We care for our Witch who takes care of us, we haven’t lost our empathy, but now it’s only reserved for the ones who earn it.”
He said, “But that’s not how it is in the village I come from. They’re happy there, the children play freely, the men and the women work for the village, and the village provides for them. They have enough food, and their water doesn’t stink. And they all work for themselves, can’t you see that this entire village is serving just one woman? Can’t you see how she’s worked her insidious magic on all of you? She’s got you all hating each other while she grows fat on your money. Can’t you see?”
He was asked to leave the village, and not poison the minds of the good people here. He was reminded that their Witch was the richest Witch in all the known lands, that they served a good cause and that the other villages were jealous of them and their Witch.
Some people listened, though. They went with him to his village, and were shocked at how differently the people there lived.
Unfortunately, the Witch’s village had gone too far to be saved. Where nobody could see the problem, and those who saw it and spoke about it were put in the Witch’s special jail.
Some people left, though, to live better lives in other villages, and though they mourned the loss of their own village, they never went back.
I tried hard to think of a way to end this story well, but unfortunately the ending of this story hasn’t been written yet.
The secret, of course, is love. These villagers will have to fall back in love with their old, with their sick, with their kids. The villagers will have to rediscover their love for their forest. Through love, the deception will become clear, through love they will fight the Witch and her minions, because only through love will they find the strength and the self-sacrifice required to defeat the greed that has led to the downfall of the village.
Thursday, January 29, 2026
Desert Rose
Born in the desert, afraid to ask for water
Afraid to walk, afraid to fall, what if nobody caught her?
She thought she could love, but didn't know how; nobody taught her
She wanted to be beautiful, but what's the point of a beauty nobody can see?
She grew thorns instead, to protect herself from the monsters that came in her sleep
But life twisted away from her, because now, that's all they see
Somehow, strangely, blooming in the desert air,
A flower grew as well, well, maybe you can't have thorns without a flower.
How did this happen? Did something other than the obvious come here?
For a flower to grow, some unseen love must have touched her.
But now that she finally has something to show, nobody sees it
Chased away by the thorns, even if they saw it, they wouldn't believe it.
If a monster in chains had a heart, would you free it?
And what about her? she has fear to conquer as well.
Someone somehow might see her and brave the thorns, compelled
But what if they cut her thorns off, and sound her death knell?
What use is a flower without her thorns? They grew for her
Maybe she lies alone, in her self-established thorn tower
Maybe she sits alone, on her throne that drains her, but sustains her.
But maybe that's better than facing a reality that would shame her.
But of course she's wrong,
If you write a song,
It would be empty if it wasn't sung
A heart is empty unless it is wrung
Thorns are old now, they need to go
Maybe thorns if buried, can be allowed to grow
Maybe the flower dies, but again, maybe not
She thought she'd fall and shatter, but what if she's caught?
There was a desert here once, and she hid herself in dread
But what if that's gone, and there's now a forest instead?
Bloom mighty, little flower, for every one that hurt
You added another layer to your magnificent petal skirt
Let go, you know how to protect yourself now
Let go, your protection now comes straight from above.
Let go, you're free and nothing can hurt you again.
You've learnt to love without giving your self up as a bargain.
Tuesday, January 27, 2026
Desensitise
Weird, side-by-side world we live in
Some people set the stage on fire
Some people set your house on fire
Some get naked for money
Some take your clothes off to shame you
Some sing about freeing sex
Some rape freely
Some starve themselves
Some starve
Some like pretend pain
Some just get tortured
Some kill themselves
Some are murdered
Some people are da bomb
Others get bombed
And you can't speak
Louder than bombs
Just try it, words won't come
Some scream at God
And some scream for Him
And... Why would God be with you
When He could be with them?
Wednesday, January 21, 2026
Won't you cry
Won't you cry
For the screaming of the babies?
Won't you cry
For the burning of the bodies?
Won't you cry
For the saving of the souls?
Won't you cry
For swollen feet?
Won't you cry
For uncertainty?
Won't you cry
For the long distances
Huddled together
For the doctors and the lawyers and the nurses
And the attendants and all the others
Who've never shared the same plate
But who now share the same fate?
Won't you cry
For nobility?
For the best of you
That comes out in a crisis?
Won't you cry for those
That kill themselves to save another?
Won't you cry
For despair
And helplessness
And hopelessness?
Won't you cry
For the acceptance of your fate?
Won't you cry
For missed dentist appointments
And tennis classes paid for but never attended?
Won't you cry
For the new clothes they wanted but never bought
For the crockery they bought
But never used
Broken and useless now
Just like their lives
Won't you cry
For the dependence of the independent?
Won't you cry
To save your own soul?
Tuesday, January 20, 2026
Fleeting
How we float on wings we can’t see
How we fly through air that's heavy
All the people we meet along the way
Are fleeting co-passengers, they never stay
The things you did, they changed me
They touched me, and taught me how to be
And the things you said
Made the pain go away
The happiness we shared
Made the hard times easier to bear
But we’re all floating, always alone,
And all passengers come and then are gone.
Maybe one day we’ll meet again
Somewhere it's a little lighter
Where the stars shine a little brighter
But until then,
Thank you, friend
For the journey we shared
For the times you cared
Maybe one day we’ll meet again.
One day, our paths will cross again
I’ll remember you,
And you’ll remember me,
And we’ll relive the life we shared
And we’ll be better
And stronger
And happier
Until then, don’t grieve
Because as I move on to the next journey
I will still always watch for you
I will still always wait for you.
Wednesday, January 7, 2026
What Are You?
I look at you and I think
And I look at you and I wonder
And I look at you and I wish
And I look at you and I worry
I calculate what will keep you healthy
What will be needed for your future
I try to see what makes you happy
I try to understand all your needs
And I tell people, like I'm some kind of expert,
"She's like this and that and the other"
But I can never really tell,
Maybe I'll never really know
What it is that you are
There's so much of you
The me in you disappoints sometimes
The you in you always surprises,
I love you, not because I know you
I try to know you because I love you...
And then sometimes,
I love that I never fully will.






