becoming a politician

wrung my heart in distress for what you were putting them through

pulled it through the hollow, bared it, to see what it could do

and then, when it all came down to you,

you took my heart out and threw it away

and now we're one.

Drugs

It started as a threat. I turned around and there he was, standing against the sunlight, smirking as if he knew what my future held. i looked away as fear twitched, aware of the burn of his gaze on my back - a living, breathing thing writhing on my neck and shoulders with the weight of a thousand suns. i knew he would return.

he didn't go. he followed me as i got off and walked stiffly, with trembling limbs. i had to get away, but i knew i still had hope. as long as i stayed calm, as long as i stayed in the light, there was nothing he could do, except follow, and smirk, and hope that i slipped. and out there, the light looked like it would last forever. like i had nothing to fear.

but the weight grew heavier. i could feel his eyes on me as he followed relentlessly, patiently, waiting for me to trip. and i lost my head, and ran.

i ran, with my bags banging against my legs, slowing me down. he lowered his head like a minotaur and charged right at me. i ran, crying, dropped my load - didn't need it anymore. i ran, away from the crowd, away from hope, looking for a dark corner to sleep while i waited.

i knew he'd find me. dark corners were where he wanted me. i ran and turned away from the crowd, thinning out behind me, getting lost with the sun. i ran into the darkness, and i could see him keeping up with a lazy trot and a triumphant smile.

as the crowd got lost and the noise dimmed down, i gasped and retched and hobbled. as the sun went down and the darkness opened up, i ran readily into its embrace, only to escape what i knew would catch up.

he did, with insolent, mocking ease. he walked into the darkness that was his comfort and lair and touched me as i still ran.

and i dropped to my knees in the dark and felt the slime powerfully on my sweaty skin. i picked it up like a long-lost friend, like the only last hope i had. his hand moved on my shoulder, a living, breathing animal like his gaze in the sunlight, but wet with traitorous slime.

i dreamt of days long-forgotten, out there in the light.

days that hadn't seen him, when the light had seemed so obvious. how had i not noticed? why did i not grab fistfuls of light and life while i could still live it? in that dark abyss, with slime crawling over me, i lost my chance. in that dark abyss, with him enveloping me, the dreams got rubbed, cruelly.