Contagion

There’s a propaganda that’s slowly taking over the world. There’s a propaganda that apparently no one has the power to stop, that not enough people have taken notice of. There’s a propaganda that has destroyed a few lives already, but maybe they can be safely ignored for now. There’s a propaganda that makes it okay for a certain section of population to be ignored, to be marginalised, in the name of Oneness, in the name of equality. “If you’ve the equality to get the same jobs, you’ve the equality to get the same punishment”. Of course, that’s not really true, but it sounds scarily convincing.

There’s a plan that will take time to emerge. There’s a virus, that’ll take time to develop, that’ll develop mostly in secret, mostly unnoticed, mostly so subtle that maybe, in the beginning, what little things you do notice, are not strong enough to be spoken against.

But they will slowly become strong. And by that time, the people who, before, could have spoken, will now find their voices have been taken away, by fear, by threat, and the people who can still talk, realise their power to be heard is gone.

There’s a blood that’s slowly rising in people’s ears until one day they’ll become deaf to reason, until one day, they will do the sort of things that they would never otherwise have done, and they won’t even realise they did it, they won’t even realise they’ve lost themselves in the process, because of the blood in their ears, because of the virus in their thought.

And there’s a change, coming.

And every change is preceded by blood.

So blood will flow. People will hide, people will die.

Then one day, they will realise that if they’re dying anyway, they might as well say what’s on their mind.

Then they will. Then they’ll die harder.

But they’ll be heard, hopefully, if the entire world is not driven by hate until then.

They’ll be heard. Humanity will prosper.

And then change will come. Slowly, with a lot of fighting, things will come back to normal.

And then people will talk about how it was “back then”, when a certain section of the population was tortured and massacred for their beliefs.

And then the whole episode will slowly trickle into history books, and become a chapter to bore the children of the future.

But if humanity does not prosper, we’ll be lost for good.

And until then, some people will fear for their lives. And the lives of their children, and the dignity of their kind.

Oh, the humanity.

The little things you did

The way you couldn’t laugh without clapping,

The way you secretly ate another sweet

And then tried to look innocent

The way you had to know everything!

The way you forgot if you’d eaten lunch,

Or brushed your teeth

Or who we were, sometimes!

The way you spoke in wonderful, impeccable English,

And combed your hair and powdered your face and wore your dupatta,

All neat and proper

And sophisticated and charming

The way you joked and laughed and loved to have fun

We loved everything about you

And we know you’ve gone to a happier place,

And now you’re with a familiar face

Now you can be young and free again

Now you can be Fatti again

But we’ll still miss you,

Amma, Dadi, Nanima; we’ll all

Miss the things that made you

Our little Japanese doll.

Beast of Burden - Discussion on "India's Daughter"

So, BBC came out with a documentary called "India's Daughter" about the ghastly rape that took place on December 12, 2012 in Delhi. 

This documentary interviewed the people who were involved in the incident - the driver of the bus for instance. 

Mukesh Singh admits that he drove the bus while the incident took place, but denies that he took actual part in it. But judging by the comments that he's made about Jyoti, the victim, and about girls in general, he's no less guilty than the others.

In the interview that's part of the documentary, he says that Jyoti herself was responsible for her rape, and that she shouldn't have been out at that time of night, and with a boy at that. 

He says, to quote, "A decent girl won't roam around at 9 o'clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy." He goes on to say that the rape and beatings were their (the aggressors') way of teaching a lesson to Jyoti and the boy.

This thought has been a part of discussion in India for a fairly long time now - the question of whether girls should stay at home, wear "proper clothes", and, well, we all know the drill by now, or if they can be allowed the independence to explore their world the way they want to, without fear of slander, or, you know, slaughter. So, in a way, some of these comments don't really come as a surprise.

What's appalling is what he says after that. 

Quote: "When being raped, she shouldn't fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape. Then they'd have dropped her back after "doing her", and only hit the boy."

Wait there's more.

"The death penalty will make things even more dangerous for girls. Now when they rape, they won't leave the girls like we did. They will kill her. Before, they would rape and say, 'Leave her, she won't tell anyone.' Now, when they rape, especially the criminal types, they will just kill the girl." 

To start with, "the criminal types"? As opposed to decent people like Mukesh himself?

I might have excused his statements about how it's the girl's fault and how she should be under home imprisonment for her own safety as the deranged opinion of a disturbed mind, but the last two quotes? 

Is this an isolated case - do only very rare bastards think this way, or is this how opinion is led in India? Is this how the people who defend rapists for being out of their depth really think? Scarier - is this how the people who are responsible for making policies and enforcing rules really think? 

India's moving forward slowly - we're progressing in many ways. Our communications are improving, our infrastructure might in a hundred years be at par with private development, our thought process is changing - we're starting to take responsibility for the state of the country, and have started to notice the number of things "this is India's culture" tries to cover up. 

That's great. Whereas I'm proud of the support that Jyoti, and other victims like her are getting from a large part of the country, whereas I'm happy that women's safety and right to independence are being discussed as one issue, I'm scared of the people who will take something as disgusting as rape and turn it around on the victim. I'm scared of the people who, whether they really believe it or not, will blame the woman for not being careful enough, traditional enough, dressed in enough clothes. I'm mostly scared of the person who, when he reads what the driver said about how Jyoti should just have kept quiet, or how the fuss being made over this incident will make it worse for future rape victims, even in the privacy of his own head, thinks, "he has a point." 

Psychopath

This is inspired from a character in a book. This character is more pitiable than hateful, because beneath all the horrible things he does, you can see he's trying to fight the demons in his mind, and that they're slowly driving him crazy. I think of this as being the mind of a cross-section between a paranoid schizophrenic and a psychopath. Of course, if anyone has ever found it hard to resist some sort of temptation, you might relate to it a little bit, in a dark sort of way, especially if the temptation was especially sinful!

Psychopath

He’d let them in

And now they’d taken over

And they thought for him

And whispered to him

And told him how it was

And how much he was worth,

Which was never very much

But he belonged to them

No one else understood

No one else knew

Hated, feared, despised

Only the demons understood

He wished they wouldn’t till his lips froze

But now he belonged to them

And they would put all their insecurities into him

And watch as they ripped apart his life

And watch him despair and lose

And bring him down to their level

And watch as the fight died in his eyes

And he became their toy

And he became their slave.

They were here to take him down

Once he’s gone, he’s lost forever.

Sensibly Proceed

This is not a poem - it's a sort of - it's about me actually. Or not completely about me, because I still try to be very cool sometimes, but it's about the people who don't give in to advertising ideals, who don't think (anymore), that being cool means rebelling, not listening to their parents, living separately, adventure-sporting - all that jazz. This is about the slowly dwindling population who are just trying to live their lives the best way they know how. 

(Of course, I'm not judging adventure-sporters. If you've found peace on that mountain, (or hanging upside-down from it) then good for you).

Sensibly Proceed 

I’m not a product of advertising.

I’m not the photocopy of some movie ideal

I don’t think peace is something you find

After a long drive, at the perfect spot

Where a mountain and river meet.

I’m sure that place is really beautiful

But my peace comes from within

I don’t “belong to the road”.

I belong to the people who travel with me

I don’t “belong just to me”

I belong to my friends, to my family.

I don’t break the rules

I follow them – they make sense.

I don’t “believe in me”

I believe in religion.

I won’t follow something just because

It’s damn bloody cool.

The life that’s been given to me,

I try to make it work.

I try to be responsible for the people I love.

I don’t “make my own destiny”

My destiny’s a mix of what’s written

And my decisions based on what people want,

And what I want, and how much I love said people,

And what seems like the right thing to do.

My destiny’s connected to the people around me.

Society might not always get it right,

But however I choose to live my life,

I invariably become part of society.

What remains to choose is which.

I don’t look for happiness.

I create it – for myself and for the people I live with, and meet, and know.

I belong to the world, and I know, and I understand, and I accept that

With every fiber of my being.

When you find your barriers,

When you know limits,

That’s when you know the true meaning of freedom.

That’s when you can start exploring

When you know you’re never alone.

When you know you belong.

You’re complete.

How I'm asking for it.

So many people have been blaming women for being raped, that I'm starting to wonder if there's some truth in that. 

So I decided to examine my own life to see what I do to provoke rape, and came up with some shocking revelations.

 - It is a woman's job to wake up every morning and pray. I'm ashamed to admit that I neglect my prayers in the morning. If I don't pray, and become prey, it is my fault. 

 - I don't even wear a big black burkha as soon as I wake up - why won't i realise that I'm constantly in danger of being seen - by the garbage collector, or the watchman, or even my maid who almost definitely has some men in her house so if she accidentally describes my luscious body to them, they can't be blamed for any thoughts they may have about me as a result.

 - I take my child to school myself, without a male chaperone, in a self-driven car. How can I drive? Driving encourages independence, and independence leads to dangerous thoughts, especially in women - how can I even think to go through my day without masculine help?   

 - On my way back, - would you belive it - I'm all alone for five minutes! Not to mention the walk from my car to my house - I must not flirt with danger so casually. If I behave like this and something happens to me, who's to blame, if not me?

 - As if this is not enough, I sometimes run errands all on my own - like going to the dry-cleaner's, the grocery store - and all while wearing revealing clothes like salwars and kurtas without a thought to how many men I'm forcing to stare at my barely covered breasts. 

 - I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but, well, sometimes, I go shopping. Or for a movie. With girlfriends, no guys. My cheeks burn with embarassment when I realise how much pain I'm causing all the respectable gentlemen sitting outside cinema halls who have no intention of otherwise causing harm, but are forced to comment on women because of their stubborness to come out when they should be staying indoors cooking for the men of their own household. Women like me.

 - I'm already quite disgusted with myself, but I need to get this off my chest. There are times when I plan to go out - after 9 p.m! When will I understand that whether I plan with my husband or an army of brothers, leave alone the mother of all sins - a ladies night out! - if i go out after 9, I deserve to at least be raped, if not killed.

I need to stop making lame excuses about freedom and independence and women's rights. I must realise that I am being given freedom to do whatever i want within the walls of my home. I do have the right to go outdoors if I am fully covered and flanked by men. If I act irresponsibly - if I try to pursue a career, insist on stubbornly making male friends, flout traditions by dressing in jeans and skirts, then I must atleast have the decency to accept what's coming to me. 

Most of all, I must always remember the words of Mukesh Singh, one of the victims of a gang of innocent men on a bus who were morally assaulted by an insolent 19-year old girl who was out of doors after nine, and were forced to conduct a disciplinary gang-rape, "When being raped, she (the girl) shouldn't fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape." I need to understand that resisting would only provoke them further, and then they will be forced, despite their inbuilt decency, to kill me, whereas they might otherwise have let me go.

I'm frankly shocked with myself and at the same time, impressed with the self-control the men around me have shown with all this undue provocation right in their faces all day long each and every day. I salute these noble men and vow to be careful not to provoke them further by a) being seen, or b) being heard. 

God bless us all. Amen.