So many people have been blaming women for being raped, that I'm starting to wonder if there's some truth in that.
So I decided to examine my own life to see what I do to provoke rape, and came up with some shocking revelations.
- It is a woman's job to wake up every morning and pray. I'm ashamed to admit that I neglect my prayers in the morning. If I don't pray, and become prey, it is my fault.
- I don't even wear a big black burkha as soon as I wake up - why won't i realise that I'm constantly in danger of being seen - by the garbage collector, or the watchman, or even my maid who almost definitely has some men in her house so if she accidentally describes my luscious body to them, they can't be blamed for any thoughts they may have about me as a result.
- I take my child to school myself, without a male chaperone, in a self-driven car. How can I drive? Driving encourages independence, and independence leads to dangerous thoughts, especially in women - how can I even think to go through my day without masculine help?
- On my way back, - would you belive it - I'm all alone for five minutes! Not to mention the walk from my car to my house - I must not flirt with danger so casually. If I behave like this and something happens to me, who's to blame, if not me?
- As if this is not enough, I sometimes run errands all on my own - like going to the dry-cleaner's, the grocery store - and all while wearing revealing clothes like salwars and kurtas without a thought to how many men I'm forcing to stare at my barely covered breasts.
- I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but, well, sometimes, I go shopping. Or for a movie. With girlfriends, no guys. My cheeks burn with embarassment when I realise how much pain I'm causing all the respectable gentlemen sitting outside cinema halls who have no intention of otherwise causing harm, but are forced to comment on women because of their stubborness to come out when they should be staying indoors cooking for the men of their own household. Women like me.
- I'm already quite disgusted with myself, but I need to get this off my chest. There are times when I plan to go out - after 9 p.m! When will I understand that whether I plan with my husband or an army of brothers, leave alone the mother of all sins - a ladies night out! - if i go out after 9, I deserve to at least be raped, if not killed.
I need to stop making lame excuses about freedom and independence and women's rights. I must realise that I am being given freedom to do whatever i want within the walls of my home. I do have the right to go outdoors if I am fully covered and flanked by men. If I act irresponsibly - if I try to pursue a career, insist on stubbornly making male friends, flout traditions by dressing in jeans and skirts, then I must atleast have the decency to accept what's coming to me.
Most of all, I must always remember the words of Mukesh Singh, one of the victims of a gang of innocent men on a bus who were morally assaulted by an insolent 19-year old girl who was out of doors after nine, and were forced to conduct a disciplinary gang-rape, "When being raped, she (the girl) shouldn't fight back. She should just be silent and allow the rape." I need to understand that resisting would only provoke them further, and then they will be forced, despite their inbuilt decency, to kill me, whereas they might otherwise have let me go.
I'm frankly shocked with myself and at the same time, impressed with the self-control the men around me have shown with all this undue provocation right in their faces all day long each and every day. I salute these noble men and vow to be careful not to provoke them further by a) being seen, or b) being heard.
God bless us all. Amen.
