Drugs

It started as a threat. I turned around and there he was, standing against the sunlight, smirking as if he knew what my future held. i looked away as fear twitched, aware of the burn of his gaze on my back - a living, breathing thing writhing on my neck and shoulders with the weight of a thousand suns. i knew he would return.

he didn't go. he followed me as i got off and walked stiffly, with trembling limbs. i had to get away, but i knew i still had hope. as long as i stayed calm, as long as i stayed in the light, there was nothing he could do, except follow, and smirk, and hope that i slipped. and out there, the light looked like it would last forever. like i had nothing to fear.

but the weight grew heavier. i could feel his eyes on me as he followed relentlessly, patiently, waiting for me to trip. and i lost my head, and ran.

i ran, with my bags banging against my legs, slowing me down. he lowered his head like a minotaur and charged right at me. i ran, crying, dropped my load - didn't need it anymore. i ran, away from the crowd, away from hope, looking for a dark corner to sleep while i waited.

i knew he'd find me. dark corners were where he wanted me. i ran and turned away from the crowd, thinning out behind me, getting lost with the sun. i ran into the darkness, and i could see him keeping up with a lazy trot and a triumphant smile.

as the crowd got lost and the noise dimmed down, i gasped and retched and hobbled. as the sun went down and the darkness opened up, i ran readily into its embrace, only to escape what i knew would catch up.

he did, with insolent, mocking ease. he walked into the darkness that was his comfort and lair and touched me as i still ran.

and i dropped to my knees in the dark and felt the slime powerfully on my sweaty skin. i picked it up like a long-lost friend, like the only last hope i had. his hand moved on my shoulder, a living, breathing animal like his gaze in the sunlight, but wet with traitorous slime.

i dreamt of days long-forgotten, out there in the light.

days that hadn't seen him, when the light had seemed so obvious. how had i not noticed? why did i not grab fistfuls of light and life while i could still live it? in that dark abyss, with slime crawling over me, i lost my chance. in that dark abyss, with him enveloping me, the dreams got rubbed, cruelly.